Tuesday, 9 November 2010

The Dream

Through closed doors and iron gates
Dead bolts, padlocks, rim locks
Between steel bars, no guards
I twist round stairs and tight corners
Into the blue light, the half light
No one around, I’m outside now.

Sun streaming through white clouds
Bumping along the skyline
Along pylons and hissing wires
The rhythm scares and frees me
Trees go by flashing like fire
Now orange light, street lights.

Racing along the night highway
Down straight yellow lines
Cats eyes staring up at me
The world flows by at a pace
Time swiftly moving on
But there’s something in the road.

A group of deer leap out in front
Their majestic faces
Proudly flaring nostrils
Dark eyes, ears pricked and alert
They sense me but pay no mind
I speed ahead on my silent journey.

I’m on a mission, floating above life
This is how freedom should feel.
A blink, a jolt and I’m back again
I feel you breathing on my shoulder
Imprisoning me once more
Haunting my reality.

(Inspired by the dream sequence from the film “Un Prophète” by Jacques Audiard)


  1. oh snap...that took quite a turn in those closing lines...leaving me a bit chilled. nice one shot!

  2. i especially like the wordplay of the first two stanzas, yet how you keep it from going overboard. Great description also in those stanzas.

  3. I like the floaty feel/language to this - light, flows well, good spacing/line breaks.

  4. I liked the sudden JOLT back to the 'prison' of reality, which emphasizes the freee, dream-like quality of the preceding stanzas.

    Nice One Shot, Libby!

  5. This IS a poem and a good one. I like the locks unlocking to a place of freedom to rove the skies and byways before returning to an imprisoned state. You took us through the euphoria and anxiety such a trip entails. Excellent. Well done, you! Gay (Your work gets stronger each week)!

  6. Libby, that is just incredible!! Your best, yet! The rhythm and timing are incredible. I found I could do nothing but just let myself go and fall into your world. Beautiful!

  7. Dear Libby

    A great feel of life... I loved your words.."I’m on a mission, floating above life
    This is how freedom should feel."
    Thanks for sharing...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

  8. i kind of felt you were in one heck of a scary controlling relationship when i read the last stanza....a wonderful fluent write that lead to that last moment...cheers pete

  9. "I feel you breathing on my shoulder
    Imprisoning me once more
    Haunting my reality."

    I feel this each time, every moment I think of past and dread to look back yet again!

    Come along and join the challenge to think beyond...visit the link


    and share your own imagination triggered by the image...the comment section is waiting for you....

    "Helping readers to think and increase their imagination power so that they can express their thoughts better"

  10. Hi All thanks for the lovely feedback, I appreciate it so much. Thank you for taking the time, Libby x

  11. dynamic writing.
    keep it up...

    signed in to follow your blog, welcome visit and follow us back.

    Award/Treats 4 Poetic Friends of Jingle, Happy Sunday!

    hope to see you in tonight.